Blondes Have More Fun
by The Red Star
Summary: He'd always enjoyed Waller's missions. They were definitely more fun than fighting that Bat. This one, however, would prove to be the most fun of all, thanks to a certain bubbly blonde. Naruto/Harley. Based on Assault on Arkham.


**Long time no see, FanFiction! I've been in a slump for a few years now, but I'm trying my hardest to break free of it. I was planning to make my return with the rewrite of Shinigami Ninja, but my utter lack of interest in Bleach has stonewalled me for now. Instead, I present to you a story brought about by my current Batman kick. Hope you enjoy it!**

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' _Oh, joy._ ' he thought, seeing the pale white room he'd been dumped in,' _Wonder what the Wall wants this time._ ' As he laid still, waiting for his body to purge the rest of whatever toxin she'd dosed him with, he thought back to his last interaction with the portly woman. ' _Last time she sent me and Lawton after some idiot politician in Kasnia. Wonder if this next one will be more fun…_ '

Finally feeling the paralytic sensation recede, he sat up, cracking his neck. Much to his surprise, he saw six others sprawled out on the floor. Of them, he only recognized one; the idiot Australian, Captain Boomerang. He was the third member of their little 'task force' during the trip to Kasnia. He'd honestly assumed he'd been killed in action, not recalling seeing him during the extraction. ' _Guy's harder to kill than a cockroach._ '

Noticing his fellow prisoners were starting to awaken, he stood up, knowing that their 'benefactor' would be making her appearance soon. He said nothing as they sat up, smirking a bit at Boomerang's comparing the lingering toxin's effects to a hangover. "You'll get used to it eventually, Dundee."

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you." he grumbled, ignoring the newest nickname.

"Ah, crap! Not this again!" one of the new 'recruits' complained before collapsing to the ground. He couldn't help but chuckle. The girl sat back up and grinned at him, completely ignoring the infighting that was already occurring with the other newbies. He looked past the girl at the group, smirking as the other woman in their little group laid out the burly fish-man for trying to eat her.

"I like these guys already." He decided, already grinning madly. "Oi, baldy, I wouldn't-" he was cut off as the one-handed Russian charged the door and slammed his fist into it. "-do that…"

"Bah!" the man scoffed, "I am leaving." Just as he reared his fist back for another blow, a stern voice erupted from across the room.

"Stop!" every eye in the room turned to the origin of the voice. He felt his grin widen.

"Hey, Waller! Long time no see." she narrowed her eyes at him. Rather than respond, she refocused her attention to the group, first commanding them to sit. Most obeyed, but he instead opted to lean back against the wall. Waller said nothing in response, instead going about her usual explanation of her so-called 'Task Force X'. He tuned it out, having heard the speech enough times. He only started paying attention when the Russian guy, going by his accent, claimed disbelief on the whole 'bomb in your neck' thing. ' _Oh, boy. Another fireworks show._ ' He'd seen Waller do this before. Someone she tried to recruit wouldn't believe her, and she'd prove them wrong at the expense of their life. Waller was a real one trick pony when it came to her little squad of bad guys.

He stood away from the wall when the man's head exploded. "Show's not over yet, right? One explosion's not exactly getting that 'wow' factor, you know." Waller refocused her glare on him. "I get it. Got to keep up the tough leader act. Alright then, _boss_ , what's the mission?" still grinning, he opted to sit down next to the blonde girl, who shared his grin.

"You're going to break into Arkham Asylum." a symphony of refusals greeted the announcement.

"Yahtzee!" declared the girl, sitting up excitedly. He couldn't resist the urge to laugh, already liking the sound of the mission.

"Now you're talking, Waller. When do we start?" the girl turned to him then, and for a moment he thought he saw a sort of hunger in her eyes.

"Ooh, I like you already." she sidled up to him, laying her head against his shoulder. He did nothing to dissuade the contact.

"So you got a plan, Waller, or can I improvise?" his grin grew wider at the thought, not being a big fan of Waller's cloak and dagger work. Sure, he was _capable_ of it, but it was always so much more fun to go in fast and hard.

"No improvisation needed." she insisted, seeming a bit pleased with the pout he now sported. She proceeded to fill them in on their mission; the Riddler had hacked her system to get the information of every past present, and future member of the 'Suicide Squad'. His grin returned at that. He'd always preferred that name.

Waller droned on, explaining that the Riddler kept the information on a thumb drive in his cane. "In the Intensive Treatment building, right under the solitary confinement cells." he looked down at the girl on his shoulder.

"So you're our map?" she merely smiled and snuggled into him in response.

"Harley Quinn has an encyclopedic knowledge of Arkham's layout and logistics." Waller informed. He looked back to the girl, coming up with another question at the revelation of her name.

"Don't you have a boyfriend? Smiles a lot, really annoying laugh?" she frowned, her former good mood gone in an instant.

"Nope. We're done. He's a jerk." she crossed her arms and sat up straight, apparently no longer feeling so cuddly.

"And here I thought we were starting to get along." she looked back to him and gave him a slight smile, though it vanished as soon as she looked away.

"Are you finished?" Waller inquired. He gave her a cheeky grin in response.

"I'll be finished when I've got Harley back in a good mood." Waller glared at him for a moment before she returned her attention to the group.

"You'll be snuck into Gotham. There, you will rendezvous with a broker who will give you what you need for the break-in." her glare lessened, making her mood appear to calm. "We don't want any undue attention, so keep the body count low."

"Say I can't improvise, interrupt my conversation with a pretty girl, won't let me kill people… You just love to kill my fun, don't you?" he abruptly stood back up. "Alright, then. Don't you worry, _boss_ , I'll play nice. As long as you play by the rules, that is. Remember, _I'm_ the only one allowed to cheat." his grin returned full force, a firm glare accompanying it. Waller said nothing in response, choosing instead to simply leave the room.

"Gas them."

"What us?" Harley quipped before knockout gas started to pour from the ceiling.

"Remember, Waller!" he shouted as the thick doors began to close and his teammates began to lose consciousness. "No cheating!" the doors slammed shut without a retort, not that he expected one. Waller knew what he was capable of.

Seeing that his teammates were all unconscious, he sat down with a huff, waiting for the gas to knock him out. "Sometimes it sucks being awesome…"

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 **And there's the first chapter. Short, I know, but this is mostly a story meant to get me back on my writing feet. I can't give an estimate to the next chapter, but I have a feeling it won't take long. Stick around. I think you'll like what I've got in store.**

 **Forever in the Sky,**

 **The Red Star**


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